It’s the Christmas season and you know what that means? That’s right, it’s time for another Top Ten list from Just Original Entertainment and this time it’s of the Christmas variety.
This list was exponentially easier to put together than its Thanksgiving counterpart, but that was to be expected. Hallmark and Lifetime have been churning these Christmas movies out for years, there’s plenty to choose from, however, ironically + spoiler alert, there won’t be any Lifetime/Hallmark movies mentioned and don’t expect to see Elf anywhere on this list either (I think it would’ve been way, way better if Jim Carrey played Buddy like it was originally supposed to be).
Honorable mentions to go to 8 Crazy Nights that was unable to make the list due to the fact it’s about Hanukah and Santa’s Little Helpers & Christmas Bounty, both staring WWE Superstar The Miz that I was unfortunately unable to watch in time to add to the list. Miz, if you’re reading this, don’t get too upset about it, I’m sure one of your movies will make one of my lists some day.
When you think of Christmas movies many won’t think of this one right off the bat (<— first unintentional pun of the list haha) but there’s a whole lotta Christmas wrapped up in it (<— second unintentional pun of the list…wrapped up…like a Christmas present haha). Also, I got this movie for Christmas when I was four and I assure you, I wore the shit out of that tape.
Question. What do I, Michael Keaton, and Tim Burton have in common? All three of us prefer Batman Returns to Batman (1989). I can’t speak for Keaton or Burton but I prefer this to it’s predecessor because I think it’s more cartoony yet retains a lot of the darkness the first one had. It also features my favorite holiday (Christmas duh) which adds some lightheartedness to the proceedings and there’s healthy doses of humor spread throughout.
Don’t let the fact that they passed up including the “Jingle Bells, Batman Smells” parody deter you from watching, this one has it all…and by all I mean it has the absolute best superhero of all time and the best holiday of all time, that’s literally all you should need. But wait, there’s more, in the form of Danny DeVito, Christopher Walken, and Michelle Pfeiffer in a pretty great ensemble of villains.
I’m adding this one to the list this year in place of A Christmas Carol starring George C. Scott. When I really thought about it I realized I’d choose to watch Scrooged over A Christmas Carol ninety-nine out of one hundred times so it made sense to go with it. You know the story, guy’s a douche, gets visited by four ghosts, and stops being such a douche.
Let’s face it, no family is perfect, some may think they are, but in reality they all have problems, and this family is no different. Therein lies the beauty, they’re perfectly imperfect just as Rags the Dog puts it.
The parents are splitting up, the aunt is a thief, the son is unemployed & divorced, the daughter is a hussy, the grandson doesn’t know how to kiss, the grandfather is infatuated with a much younger woman, and the granddaughter is a straight up potty mouth.
I personally think it’s a new classic. There’s a heart and humor to this movie that is rarely seen nowadays, somehow the family is able to put their dysfunction aside and have a relatively good Christmas Eve…albeit a Christmas Eve in a hospital.
Here’s the obligatory Mike Lackey pick of the list. I saw this movie in the theater when I was five years old and regularly watch it to this day. I remember the clay animation was a big deal at the time but it’s still quite impressive today.
The story is original with the Pumpkin King, Jack, who becomes bored with Halloween and is looking for a change. When he finds a new place called Christmas Town, he decides to give Christmas a whirl with interesting results to say the least.
The beauty of this movie is that it’s about a 75/25 split in regard to being a Halloween movie and Christmas movie respectively. It does an awesome job blending the two otherwise unrelated holidays together and has an absolutely awesome soundtrack provided by Danny Elfman. If you’re looking for an unusual, dare I say…weird Christmas movie that the whole family can enjoy, then look no further.
If I were to compile a list of my favorite movies from when I was a child this one would for sure make that list… hmmmm that gives me an idea for later. Macaulay Culkin has gone on record in saying the most glaring plot hole is that if Kevin is so smart, why didn’t he just call the cops? On the surface, that makes sense, but it’s easier to press charges for breaking and entering/attempted theft than it is for conspiracy to commit theft.
Having gotten a piece of shrapnel in the foot a few years ago whilst mowing the lawn, it totally feel Marv’s pain when he steps on that nail…at least he didn’t put all his weight on it like Emily Blunt did in A Quite Place…*shudders in discomfort*
I’ve probably seen this movie more than I have any others on the list courtesy of TBS’s 24 hours of a Christmas Story. I’m usually good for three to four viewings every Christmas spaced throughout the day. This will most likely be the first time in years I’m not going to see it on Christmas, as I’m sans TNT and TBS.
It’s a story about a boy who just wants a Red Rider BB-Gun for Christmas but keeps getting shut down at every turn. His mom, his teacher, and even Santa all give him the old “You’ll shoot your eye out,” line and the best part is that’s exactly what he does…that’s good, clean, and well built up humor at it’s finest right there.
Flick gets his tongue stuck to a pole and Schwartz gets his ass beat because…well…because Ralphie is a shitty friend when ya think about it… he rats on his friend for something he didn’t do and dips when Flick repeatedly calls for his help when his tongue’s stuck to the pole, simpler times I guess. Anyways, Randy looks like a tick ready to pop and Ralphie looks like a deranged Easter bunny or a pink nightmare, and he most certainly didn’t say fudge. Dat leg lamp doe, am I right?
Schwartz isn’t the only one who catches an ass beating. Ralphie opens up a can of whoop ass on Scut Farkus for throwing an ill-timed snowball. I’m not saying he didn’t deserve it, but in Scut’s defense, who the hell names their kid Scut? I looked it up and it means: a person perceived as foolish, contemptible, or objectionable. No wonder he was such an asshole.
This year, incase you haven’t heard, they came out with a sequel titled A Christmas Story Christmas. Looks a lot better than A Christmas Story 2 that had none of the original actors and shouldn’t have been made. I might find a way to watch it but I may not, if you watch it let me know how it is.
No matter how many times I see this movie I always seem to find something I hadn’t noticed before that ends up being hilarious. It falls a spot on the list this year because AMC absolutely overplayed the shit out of this movie, granted I didn’t have to watch it, but I did and I don’t want to see it again until 2024 at the earliest. It’s still one of my favorites but damn…
Enough ranting, this is supposed to be a fun list right? Clarks heart is certainly in the right place as he just wants his family to be together and have the best Christmas ever. The problem is that in his case, everything that can go wrong, does.
I love the dynamic between Clark and his neighbors Todd and Margo. Clark doesn’t have to try very hard or go out of his way to annoy them. In fact, most of what annoys them is unintentional on Clarks part. Granted Clark doesn’t like them, which is apparent during their one and only verbal confrontation when Clark tells him to bend over and he’ll show him where he’ll put a tree that big, but that’s the only time he’s intentionally messing with them.
It’s about damn time a Jim Carrey movie made it on the list, am I right or am I right? Carrey had to beat out Eddie Murphy and Jack Nicholson who were also up for the role of the Grinch, either one of them would’ve made for a much different movie and I think Carrey was the right choice.
Jim Carrey is great in this role, like every other role he’s in, but he was born to play the Grinch. It was a well put together story, they needed to stretch it out from twenty minutes into a feature length movie, mission accomplished. Ron Howard did an awesome job directing what was probably an extremely unique challenge.
Jim has gone on record saying that getting in the Grinch makeup every day was so terrible that the studio brought in CIA operatives that specialize in training techniques to withstand torture…talk about dedication.
Now we’re getting into the sentimental classics, this one always makes me cry because it reminds me of the time I first saw it and how different my life is from where I was at the time…it’s a good cry.
I think the story is awesome, a train that brings kids, who are questioning their belief in Santa Claus, to the North Pole so they can see the big guy for themselves. Some might think this is a dark movie what with all the ups and downs, but that’s what life is, a series of ups and downs.
It has a lotta heart and an awesome soundtrack. And when that annoying kid says “What do you mean we’re running out of time? It’s been five minutes to midnight for the last hour, we got plenty of time, we got time to kill.” It always cracks me up.
This right here is the best Christmas movie of all time and that’s never going to change. I saw It’s a Wonderful Life for the first time four years ago, I was blown away, and I’m not ashamed to say I cried, just as I do every time I see it, which is only once a year because I want it to always have that special feeling.
I can’t stress this enough, if you haven’t had the privilege of watching this movie, I suggest you stop what you’re doing, go find it, and watch it. As a matter of fact, even if you have seen It’s a Wonderful Life, you should stop what you’re doing and go watch it. Luckily this is the end of our list so yeah, go do it.
That’s going to do it for this particular list, we here at Just Original Entertainment would like to wish you a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, and a Happy New Year!
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